15 July 2009

long lost post

it's been a while since i posted because i went to Salt Lake City (SLC) for work the last week of June and then off to Indiana to visit family the first few weeks of July. i'm back on California soil and trying to adjust back to reality. it sucks.

i have a REAL hard time....and i mean HARD HARD time.....coming home after being with my family. ALL of my extended family lives in Indiana. My mom was an only child raised in SF, CA and her parents died when i was 12 & 16 so no family here in CA. My dad has 6 brothers and sisters and a ton other family all in Indiana (his dad died before i was born, and his mom died when i was 12). My dad and his next younger brother Kenny are gone leaving the last 5 siblings. It's just my mom, my brother & his family and me & mike/JW here in CA. it sucks.

So being in Indiana does a lot of different things for me. First, it surrounds me by a minimum of 10 people at all times**. Second, everything about it reminds me of my dad, from the smells to the sights, to my 2 other uncles who are carbon copies of my dad by either looks or mannerisms. Third, it's just being near family that keeps the flame in my soul lit.

**this is not normal for the family that lives back there. all the cousins, 2/3/4th cousins, etc come out of the "woodwork" when the "CALIFORNIA FAMILY" is in town. So that means my Aunt Deb gets visitors like crazy while we're staying there and then virtually NO ONE when we're NOT there. so it is fairly unrealistic for me to think that's how it is all the time and that's why i should live there. BUT even just being around my 2 aunts and 2 uncles is enough for me.

basically we got back on sunday night i was back to work monday morning and SO depressed. i am seriously in withdrawals. i want to move there. is that crazy?